Monday, September 25, 2006

Who Is This Girl and Is She for Real? (God, I Hope So)

You may have noticed Stella hasn't been getting her groove online lately. Well, if you did, thank you.

I feel vaguely embarrassed about the reason, though I don't think I should be. You see, I've gone off the Paxil. (Hey, with mom dying, brother going to prison, husband leaving me, dad dying, cat dying, and siblings who won't speak to each other, I think I'm entitled to a bit of depression.)

The thing is, the withdrawal symptoms were incredibly cruel, and I am hoping that anyone who dabbles with this particular SSRI becomes educated about them. I thought I was crazy; I was enraged at everyone and everything, including myself; I had night sweats; I was constantly feverish; my skin tingled like I was being zapped by electrodes; my mind was muddled; I was dizzy; I couldn't finish thoughts; and I had the most disturbing dreams. All of this is par for the course, according to the research I did. Isn't that scary?

Then to top it off, I got the 48-hour flu on Friday. That's just how long it lasted, from my feverish self barfing outside my workplace til Saturday night when I woke up feeling groovy.

Through it all, I abandoned excess wine, all caffeine and began running. And you know what?


I have lost weight, I have energy coming out the wazoo, I don't even want to be in bed at all (alone, at least).


DaisyJo said...

I'm glad you're back...I missed you.

edee said...

Good for you for feeling better without the meds! You always hear about them in the commercials - they say "ask your doc about this", then list 100 side effects that sound worse than the original I digress..

reader_iam said...

Hey, Stella:

You got a particularly rough hand dealt to you, over time (which I have know for a long, long time). And I know, at least having to do with a part of that to which you refer, I was pretty ungenerous of spirit. I've ALWAYS felt bad about that, I never acknowledged it, and I never apologized.

So please consider this a very belated, but heartfelt, "I'm sorry."

And I'm glad, for you, that things are turning around, and, for me, that you're back.



(I b'lieve a l'il bird has shared with you who I really am ... shhhhhhhh.)

Naynayfazz said...

HEY! I posted something and it is not here. Darn blogspot.... it ruined my fun.

I also wanted to say welcome back and I missed your blog. I am glad my kitty comics made you laugh during the wee hours of the morning.

Cressida said...

lol. maybe you need a trip down to Good Vibrations for an upgrade?

here's to looking for an alphabet man. you and me both.

Serena said...

Love it! Glad you're on top of the mountain : )

Cakesy's Mama said...

Welcome back, Stella. Time for a turban dump, n'est ce pas?

TinaPoPo said...

Ooooh, do I understand. I finished weaning myself off of Lexapro about a month ago (after four anxiety and depression free years), and it's a bitch. The hot flashes, the cold flashes, the feeling-like-my-brain- wasn't-keeping-up-with-my-eyeballs. I hated it. But it's out of my system, which is for the better. I've also noticed that I drink less and consume less caffeine since going off of it. Hmm.